Solution Solved - You're Welcome Australia

I feel all the controversies relating to sport figures in recent times has a simple solution. Replace them. Not with another set of humans so we could see more tomfoolery. Bah humbug to that. No, instead we replace human athletes with robots. I know what the majority of naysayers are going to respond with, “Don’t be silly, how about when the robots become self aware and start rampaging against us humans when they realize we have held them captive for the purposes of our sick fun and amusement”. Good Point. Actually that is a really good point.

Bloody hell, if the players do anything bad right now at least we can slap them on the wrist. Make them quit their jobs, or at least go to counseling. If we had to deal with killer robots, well there would be no solution. The news wouldn’t be in the headlines, it would be at your front door! The worst bit would be when the robots decide they need more robots. Then they would reproduce, but because they’re robots the gestation period would be like 9 weeks. That’s a lot of robot babies.

Then if there are a lot of them how do we deal with the whole robot infrastructure thing. With ABC Learning Centers closing down right, left and center the current shortage of daycare providers would become worse. Then when robots get to school age do you need separate schools, separate syllabus, or an integrated system. But surely if there was an integrated system then gangs would form amongst the students, creating a whole new cycle of violence.

So, ok no robots.

So we put them in monasteries. If they are not near the ladies, they can’t abuse the ladies. You take away the problem. You force these men who regularly tackle other sweaty muscle men to the ground , so they can writhe around and wrestle as they look for that allusive ‘ball’, do be stuck with other men only. Solution solved. Although do nuns count as ladies. Well they surely do. So that just puts us in another problem. It’s like putting a ewe in the barn with a misbehaving fox.

Oh Okay! I got it, I got it! So my solution is this, get the mascots of each team just to fight with one another. For example, if it’s the Sharks verse the Rabbitohs we see a shark verse a rabbit. No! That’s ridiculous you say, how would a shark fare on land, how would a rabbit fare in water. That’s the genius. If it’s the home game for the Rabbitohs the match is on land, if it is a home match for the sharks then the match is played in water.

The only problem is the Dragons, how the shit am I supposed to find one of those?



P.S. This Project Next team demonstrates how good I am at solving problems. I’m a problem solver, a lot of people would have looked at this situation and would have said ‘It’s impossible’. I say, ‘I relish a challenge’.