She turns 3!

I feel too many people make fun of Paris Hilton for doing nothing. Sure she’s a gross slapper who carries around STDs like lip gloss, but there are others who do nothing and get attention. May I bring your attention to the new socialites, the cute bubs of celebrities.

What have they done?

What talents do they have?

What bad sexual decisions have they made?

None, well then surely they can’t be famous, you say. Well then you’d be wrong, so very wrong.

The alumni of the famous and cute [FAC] (the Jolie-Pitt clan, Suri Cruise, Kingston Rossdale etc) do nothing yet appear time after time on the covers of a number of reputable publications.

And that just isn’t fair.

At least Paris Hilton actively courts attention but all the little FACs need to do is pout and snappers go nuts.

What has provoked all this anger. One answer. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt turning three years old.

There was a whole article on people.com dedicated to it. I don’t get it, yeah she’s cute, but she looks like any other kid.

Bloody hell I looked like her when I was little (picture of me below, judge for yourself).



Although I cannot lie, I can’t wait for the FACs to grow-up and track the hi-inks they will surely get up to.
My Predictions:
• Maddox Jolie-Pitt: Director of art-house films with heavy oedipal subtexts.
• Zahara Jolie-Pitt: will write memoir on family. Many exclusive interviews await this one.
• Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: Reality television host on minor cable network.
• Pax Jolie-Pitt: token ethnic actor.
• Vivienne and Knox Jolie-Pitt: child actors who star in numerous films about being twins and solving mysteries. Adult careers fizzle as both descend into drug use.
• Suri Cruise: will become a rap star. Hip Hop name, SuCru. Will be estranged from father.
• Kingston Rossdale: Classical guitarist.