Saturday, May 23, 2009

I know how to solve the Tamil/Singhalese situation in Sri Lanka

Everyone has a responsibility to solve this situation. You, me regardless of whether or not we are directly involved in this horrible situation we can help save it. Today I need everyone to leave their houses, and find warring Tamil and Singhalese people. Bring them all together into the room and force them to watch Britney Spears’ Crossroads.

Of course this room will provide snacks.

Although initially animosity will reign free in the room. One side will probably monopolize the Fantales, the other the cheetos. The side with Fantales will read out the clues loudly and carry on like a bunch of hooligans. The side with the cheerios will place the cheesy snacks daintily on their fingertips only to crunch on them loudly and lick the residual flavoring of their hands. It will be, at the beginning, just a noise-fest of talking and slurping and crunching, but then something magical will happen. These two warring peoples will unite.

The movie will draw them in closer. One person will start watching it, then another, the talking will slowly peter out, the crunching will become slower less frantic. Because everyone in the room will want to know if the naïve, virginal young girl played by Britney Spears will find her mother. They will want to know who the father of the trailer trash chick’s baby is. They won’t question why the other chick, you know the token ethnic one, is already engaged even though she just graduated high school. It’ll all just make sense. No questions asked.

The sadness, the alienation and the tribulations of these three girls who are reuniting from years of estrangement will echo the sad conflict of the Tamil and Singhalese people. When the girls are gradually reuniting on the screen, the people in the room will also reunite. It will be subtle though, someone from one side will pass the Fantale bowl to the other side. Then the cheetos will be exchanged.

A Fantale clue will be read out by a Tamil, only to be guessed by a Singhalese person. And it won’t descend into competition instead everyone will congratulate the person who guessed correctly. They will start talking about their similarities, their loves, their dreams and they will realize that they are all the same.

And all of it would have been inspired by the last words of Lucy Wagner (Britney Spears):
“This time, we didn't make any wishes for the future. We said goodbye to our past. Now, none of us has any idea where life's gonna take us, 'cause what we have is now. And right now, we have each other”.

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