In case I get rejected (likely possibility) I have this all stored up.

Dear Zapruder Productions,

Thanks so much for the opportunity, I really enjoyed meeting all of you too. I would also like to take this opportunity to tell you that I appreciate all your time and your initial interest in me. All of it means more than you’ll ever know.

That’s what makes this next part so hard. In consultation with my lawyers, I will be suing your production company (Zapruder) for blatant discrimination against awesomeness. It was not an easy decision but I feel that I should take a stand against what I personally view as such a heinous and easily accepted discrimination.

Although awesomeness has not been commonly viewed for grounds of legal action, in these tough economic times surely someone must make a stand. With companies, especially now, seeking to make a large number of their employees redundant, those who are awesome will surely suffer. What makes this injustice especially dreadful is that through committing this discrimination not only do you discriminate against the members of awesome, you also persecute them. You turn awesomeness into loserhood, and therefore force those who are awesome to go against their natural form.

Although I would like this case to be resolved out of the court, I have no hesitation in taking this to the highest level of legal institution in the land (I don’t what that institution is, but I will not hesitate in Goggling it and finding out).

Yours Sincerely,


Feyz Mehri



P.S. Now to find my lawyer….