Swine Flu: Is this Project Next thing all just a delusional symptom?

I have two theories about Swine-itus. One theory is that it is actually a very good conspiracy theory that shall be soon cracked. I have a few theories that I would like to contribute though, while we are conspiring:

DIGRESSION => Swine Flu – The Truth:

1. Mexico is currently experiencing a Zombie outbreak. So as to not alarm the world population international leaders have concocted the idea of an influenza pandemic. For which is more fearful, the undead returning or a bad cold with a funny name? That’s right crisis averted.
2. Obama is an ethnic President. The Mexicans are expecting him to open the borders. He can’t and he won’t. So how does one get out of such a conundrum, you quarantine a nation. You exaggerate the winter cold and then boom. You don’t lose the hearts and minds of the third biggest voting demographic in your country and you don’t have to deal with a bunch of pesky poor people applying for visas.
3. This is all a part of a peace plan for Palestine and Israel. Unite Muslims and Jews by making them laugh at non-believers and goys for eating swine products or interacting with swine products and then no more Boom.
4. Crazy socialists and Orwell were right when they made comparisons between capitalists and pigs. With the GFC and the Swine Flu quickly following one another, one can’t help but think that maybe… just maybe the illness that has infected the Global economy has mutated and become a viral infection. I’m just saying.
a. CONSPIRACY THEORY IN SEMI-SIMILAR VEIN: The crazy socialists and Orwellians have made Swine Flu and spread it, so as to further associate Swine with Capitalism. Those crazy Communists….

Though my other theory (which is not so much a broad conspiracy theory) is that I have swine flu. In fact I was the first person with swine flu. More than that I have had Swine Flu since the 30th of March, 2009 when someone called me up to inform me I was shortlisted for a job I could have only previously fantasized about having.

That in this constant state of delusion:
I also believe that I went to an interview.
I got emails from the production company for this project.
And that I recently got correspondence that tells me that all will be revealed in two-three weeks.

Or I am not delusional. I just have talent.

…

Yup, Nooo it’s Swine Flu. Goodbye then fair world. You have treated me moderately.