Rude Customers

Animal documentaries are the best. They have awesome narrators who talk in short and melodramatic sentences. I wish I was a narrator of an animal documentary. Narrators for animal documentaries can get away with saying verbose descriptions for the most uninteresting things. For example, if you and I were to see a sleeping lion we would say, ‘Oi, there is a lion sleeping, yeah, he’s having a good ol’ nap’. A narrator on an animal documentary will say, ‘See their lays the majestic King of the Wild. Today he has ruled his Kingdom with a clenched claw but an open heart. But at any time the women in his own personal harem could make the King of the Jungle rest in peace, for good!’

I wish I could do that. I wish in uninteresting or difficult moments in my life I could just switch on an animal narrator. I especially wish I could do that when I am dealing with rude customers. The customer would say something like ‘I don’t understand why my card isn’t working, but I am not paying for it and I am taking it!’ If you calmly tell the gentleman that he is then stealing, you may find yourself with an inky antenna after he stabs you in the eye with a pen.

Instead you have to calm him down from his power trip and you are stuck there for twenty-five minutes explaining to an irrational 'human' that he has to pay. When he finally then finds the credit card he didn’t think he had. You smile like it happens to everyone, swallowing your anger down with a big ol' smile.....

Sorry I just passed out from all my own personal anger.

I have this vague idea that my intention was to continue talking about the relationship between animals and some of the customers I have to deal with, but I have completely forgotten. Instead I now have a light headed euphoric feeling where I feel joy, and that I want to hug the earth with my arms. And I know that when I gave the earth a big squeeze, the earth will squeeze me back with the tender arms of Mother Gaia.

I want to go pick flowers, and bake so many biscuits that I could feed everyone in Africa.

Isn’t life grand!

Feyz Mehri realized that after she fell from her anger rush, that she bumped her head on the table. This caused her immense pain that was blocked by an immense amount of positive adrenalin. When that waned, she found herself screaming and hovering in a dark corner. As a result her misanthropic musings will back as of her next blog...